| Beauty. |
[19 Oct 2006|08:06pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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the rocket summer |
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Today I was called beautiful by a complete stranger. I have to admit it felt nice. There were other pretty girls around me and he choose me.
I told my (lovely, gorgous, wonderful, sweet, caring) boyfriend this and he said some really sweet things.
Me: i got a really nice complement today Matty: aww Me: yeah this random guy called me beautiful... i was like whaaaat? Matty: you aree! Me: yeah. right. Matty: i don't lie to you melody. Me: thats true. i just have a diffent opinion than you and that boy. Matty: but you shouldn't. Me: i dont know. i've been called ugly for a while now. i guess i dont really have self-confidence in my self anymore. Matty: even if this world says you're not, i think you are, and so does God (and i guess this guy too), and that should be enough for you to think that you are. Matty: that should be enough for you to believe that you are. Me: :) youre right. i love you so much, matty. you make me smile.
I love my boyfriend. He makes me feel good about myself.
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| THIS IS AMAZING AND TRUE! |
[19 Oct 2006|04:51pm] |
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mood |
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determined |
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music |
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the rocket summer |
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GOD IS GOOD! ALL THE TIME!~
If this offends you I am sorry, but I had to send this out because it is so true.
IF SOMEONE HAD A GUN HELD IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE AND ASKED YOU IF YOU BELIEVED IN GOD, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? SAY NO AND FEEL ASHAMED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? OR SAY YES, I DO, AND DIE STANDING UP FOR GOD?
If you would say no, GO AHREAD AND LEAVE, NOW. IF YOU WOULD SAY YES, AND STAND UP FOR JESUS CHRIST, PLEASE READ THIS AND PASS ON.
Note: This is a true article that was printed in a southern newspaper less then a year ago
TAKE A DEEP BREATH BEFORE READING THIS
There was an atheist couple who had a child. The couple never told their daughter anything about the Lord. One night when the little girl was 5 years old, the parents fought with each other and the dad shot the mom, right in front of the child. Then, the dad shot himself. The little girl watched it all. She then was sent to a foster home. The foster mother was a Christian and took the child to church. On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mother told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her. The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, "Does anyone know who this is?" The little girl said, "I do, that's the man who was holding me the night my parents died."
If you believe this little girl is telling the truth that even though she had never heard of Jesus, he still held her the night her parents died, then you will forward this to as many people as you can. Or you can walk away from it as if it never touched your heart.
Funny, isn't it? Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why >the world's going down the toilet.
Funny how we believe what the newspapers! say, but question what the Bible says.
Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says. (Or is it scary?)
Funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).
Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of Jesus is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.
Funny how we can go to church for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week. (Are you laughing?) Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me. (Are you thinking!?)
Pass this on only if you mean it.
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| On A Lighter Note... |
[01 Oct 2006|01:14pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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tori amos - a sorta fairytale |
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I thought I would lighten the mood from all those sad poems... there are 42 truths:
42 TRUTHS
Today Did You--
1. talk to a boy/girl you like today? yep. i'm talking to my boyfriend right now.
2. realize anything new? yes. that mike is really funny.
3. talk to an ex? no.
4. miss someone? like crazy.
--Last person who--
5. slept in your bed? me...
6. saw you cry? my parents and my classmates. (yeah thats right, i cried in class, got a problem with it?)
7. you went to the movies with? umm mischa and his friend i think.
8. went to the mall with you? veronica.
9. you said "i love you" to and meant it? matty.
10. that made you laugh? mike.
11. said they loved you? matty.
12. that called you in the middle of the night? dont know, but two boys woke me up in the middle of the night knocking on my window! those stupid boys... i was trying to sleep!
13. do you like someone? my boyfriend...
-Just plain questions--
14. what book are you reading? Luck of the Irish by my grandfather.
15. best feeling in the world? being in love.
16. favorite location? definately florida.
17. piercing/tattoos? turn oonnnnn.
18. what are you most scared of right now? heartbreak.
19. where do you want to get married? i dont care as long i am in love with the person i marry.
20. who do you really hate? sadly, no one but myself. i treat myself like crap.
21. does anyone hate you? not that i know of.
22. do you like being around people? yes. people in orlando preferably.
23. have you ever cried? ha are you kidding me? daily!
24. are you lonely right now? very.
25. song stuck in your head right now? hands down by dashboard confessional.
27. ever liked someone, but you think they never noticed you? yes.
28. ever liked someone who treated you like crap? yes.
29. how many beds did you lay in yesterday? two.
30. what color shirt are you wearing? tie-dye rainbow. ha.
31. name three things that you do every day? love. breathe. cry. (no i'm not emo, i just miss people very badly.)
34. when was the last time you saw your dad? today.
35. who got you to join myspace? some girl named melanie.
36. what did you have for dinner last night? i don't remember. how sad. thats a wasted meal.
39. what web site do you visit the most? music websites.
40. do you have plants in your room? not anymore.
41. does anything on your body hurt right now? my heart. wow maybe i am emo...haha.
42. where was your last cab ride? san fransico i think.
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| Yeah, Just So Ya Know |
[01 Oct 2006|12:04pm] |
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mood |
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no mood really |
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music |
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distillers - drain the blood |
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I am not suicidal. Those poems are just emotions that I had to write down on paper so that they wouldnt take me over. I'm sorry if I scared any of you.
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| Hmmmmmmm.... |
[01 Oct 2006|11:47am] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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further seems forever - snowbirds and townies |
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I wrote this a long time ago on the back of some random piece of paper but it still rings kinda true...
normally i'm the one trying to help everyone i can. now i'm the one who needs saving and i dont know how to explain that to others.
What I mean by that is I need someone to shake me and love me and gently kiss my forehead and hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright. You know? If that explains it...
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| Oh Wow I Write A Lot Of Poems. |
[01 Oct 2006|11:36am] |
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mood |
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creative |
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music |
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alexisonfire - accidents |
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I wrote this poem September 17, 2005.
Lying on my bed I think I'm waiting for something For anything But nothing, no one is coming
I'm just now realizing That death is perminent And there's no turning back, no living again Once you exit the world you cant come back in
And now I'm noticing That just because your life stops Or your world quits spinning, others go on, they just keep on living
So before I pull the trigger, Down this bottle of pills Or feed my vains anymore cheap thrill Please remind me that this is it, it's the end, and my life is dear Because those are the words that we all need to hear...
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| Another Poem for Jesse Johnson. |
[01 Oct 2006|11:24am] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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eisley - i wasnt prepared (for this) |
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This is another poem written a year ago for the missed Jesse. Jesse come home...
This is a poem for my close friend, Jesse Whom I have tried to save a thousand times He has no parents, not much family alive He drinks and he drinks, trying to fill the emptiness inside I've warned him about the effects of his drugs But he doesn't care because he just wants to be numb But every so often, he likes to remind himself he's not dead By slitting his wrist and bashing his head I'm sorry that I couldnt help you, but you can't save someone Whose soul's already been taken But when you wake from this mess, this nightmare This poem's for you, Jesse, because I'm here and I always will care...
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| Poem for Jesse Johnson. |
[01 Oct 2006|11:23am] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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damien rice - cannonball |
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I wrote this poem a year ago for my best friend in Chico Jesse. Jesse has been missing for about seven months. He became a meth addict. He very well may have commited suicide. He is very missed.
The pills he's popping arent healthy The liquor he's drinking isn't helping And the hearts that he breaks Because he's only capable of love for one day Then says "those girls, they only get in the way..."
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| FINALLY!!! |
[01 Oct 2006|11:11am] |
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mood |
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loved |
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music |
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explosions in the sky - first breath after coma |
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After about five months of Matty and I being in love, we are finally offical. THAT TOOK FOREVER!
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| Poems for My Mom. |
[01 Oct 2006|10:39am] |
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mood |
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sorry |
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music |
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david gray - the one i love |
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This is a poem I wrote for my mom a little over a year ago:
This is a poem to my mother, Misty Who has cried a thousand tears for me Whose voice has both comforted me and frightened me Wispered sweet promises and yelled cruwel threats I've told her I loved her but I've said the word hate as well I remember being your barbie on the beach And not letting you talk to anyone but me Until one day when I decided that I was better off without you June 25th, 2004 the summer bell rang and I sprang out the door And ran and walked as far as my legs would take As far away from you as I could get And I knew how important that day was to you But while I was drinking your memory away You were on the streets looking for me Crying and searching and screaming my name As I partyied all night, feeling little to no shame And when you found me a couple days after The ride home was quiet Until my thoughts of intentions came out And I finally confessed it I did all of this to teach you a lesson Mom, I'm so sorry for everything I've done to hurt you You are so good to me and deserve a lot better Please forgive me for all that I've done I love you and I'm willing to start back at square one
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